Soapbox Ramblings

Smile.

Once you’ve stepped outside the house, reward yourself: Allow yourself to smile at your ccomplishment. And remind yourself that it’s okay.

Smile, even if you don’t feel like it. And I’m not talking about smiling at others to convince them everything’s okay. Smile at yourself — for yourself — in private. Begin smiling every day for just a few minutes a day. You don’t have to look in a mirror (it may make this more difficult). Smile to yourself. And if the urge hits you, Laugh.

Eat Healthy

If you’ve only been eating bag after bag of candy, stop.
If there’s still candy or ice cream or fried chicken in the house, I want you to do the unthinkable: Throw it out. Even if you’re having money trouble (you had the money for the candy/ice cream/potato chips didn’t you? Trust me on throwing it out. “Money trouble” and “Can’t afford to buy more food” were two of my favorite excuses for keeping it around too.) If you have the tendency to overeat when you’re even slightly Depressed, not having unhealthy food in the house is the only thing that will keep you from eating it. And you will often be pleasantly surprised by the healthy foods that were there all along, but you’ve been avoiding.

If you’re the type who doesn’t eat when you’re depressed, it’s possible you may need to go grocery shopping. Your fridge very likely only contains mustard and hot sauce and you hate hot sauce.

No matter your Depression eating style, consult a nutritionist or nutrition web site. Here are a few to get you started:

• http://www.nutrition.gov/
• http://www.mypyramid.gov/
• http://www.eatright.org/

Buy fresh fruits and vegetables, lean meats, low-fat dairy and whole grains. If you have children and a family, ignore their pleas for anything else. These are the foods they need to eat too. Feel the urge for something sweet? (or your children insist on it?) Buy only naturally-flavored sweets: fruits and all-fruit drinks, raisins, etc. Yogurt, granola bars, even popsicles are all low-fat alternative snacks. Want
salty/crunchy? Pretzels are perfect! (just not too many, or at least go for low-salt pretzels.)
Beans are not only a low-fat, high-protein choice, they can also be used to go back to Step 7
(remember the ditty from childhood, “beans, beans, the glorious fruit…”?) If you find yourself farting more now, don’t be embarrassed by it! Laugh about it. Allow yourself to Smile.
Or you could just fix them with a teaspoon of plain vinegar. That works too.

I’m only going to address people who overspend when they’re Depressed. (if you underspend as punishment — not allowing yourself essential items — this is addressed in Step 10.) I’m not going to
ask you to identify your overspending habit. You know if you do it. I’m also not going to ask you to have someone else do this for you. Every Step is to show you that yes, you can take care of these thing yourself.

First, Make and keep a budget. Not as easy as it sounds, I know.
Go back three months in your bank and credit card statements. Categorize where the money went — ALL of it. Every single item on a bank or credit statement should be in a Category.
For example:
Expected Bills: rent, electric, phone, internet,
insurance, etc.
Unexpected Bills: doctor visits, for
example
You can sub-categorize those 2 even
further:
Rent
Electric
Phone
Cell
Phone
Internet
Groceries
Gas (if you drive anywhere at all,
might as well budget this high for a while)
Car
Payments
Insurance
Credit Cards
I’ll say it again: Every
item on your bank statement MUST be in a category, with the last one
being:
CASH WITHDRAWALS
How often do you withdraw
Cash? How much do you withdraw at a time?
Where does that money go?
This is the hardest category to keep up with, and the one that can get you in the most trouble. If you have to, begin keeping up with your receipts every time you use Cash.

Now that you know where your money is going, how can you Watch your spending? This isn’t easy sometimes, but little by little, you can do it by asking yourself, “Which of the first 2 categories does this fall under? Is it an Expected Bill? Is it an Unexpected Bill? Just how necessary is it?” And even within the Bill itself: for example, is the Rent always late? That late fee is Unnecessary.
I think you’re beginning to get the picture.

Most importantly, see how much of your overspending you are able to recognize on your own. This is Your Depression we’re helping overcome here after all, not your accountant’s.

Let’s review:
1. Get out of bed.
2. Shower.
3. Brush your teeth.
4. Get dressed.
5. Repeat 1-4.
6. Get out of the house.
7. Smile
8. Eat healthy.
9. Watch your spending and stick to a budget.

Step 10: If at any given time during the road back from Depression, you miss a Step, or have to go back one or two, don’t punish yourself.

This includes not allowing others to punish you too. Don’t fall for lines like: “just snap out of it,” or “how could you do this to me?”

Remind yourself every day that you accomplish even one thing from Steps 1-9, you have made a breakthrough. All 9 will not happen all at once (hence the need for Step 5: Repeat 1-4).

Instead of food or spending, begin to Reward Your Accomplishments with Step 7: Smile. Allow yourself to feel good about your progress. While one or two of these Steps may prove more difficult than others, Step 7 is, by far, the most important. Once you can Smile and feel good about your accomplishments and how far you’ve come, you are well on your way out of depression and back into
Life.

And that feels pretty darn good.